Everything will be ok.
There are too many questions in my head, jostling to my forehead. Just want to escape.
I could feel the beats of my heart, softly through my chest. Fighting with the rest of my body. So quiet. But my heart is noisy, screaming so loud. It’s always like that when I wake up in the night. I’m alone. Am I ?
I don’t seem so alone when you look at me briefly. But I am. There are too many things I’m not able to explain and it’s devouring me. Nibbling at my brain. There is too much pain inside of me.
Look, she’s bleeding.
I am. I do. I swear. I’ll never lie. I’m crying blood, in front of you, and you don’t see. Are you blind ? Are you ? You don’t want to help me, is that right ? You rather leaving me on the floor, seated as an orphan, tasting asphalt. Why are you looking at me with pity ? I don’t want your pity, neither your sympathy. I deserve nothing.
I’m sorry for everything, sweetheart. For hiding you the truth, for leaving you in tears, for begging you not to leave me. I’m sorry for all the nights you spent, worrying for me. I’m sorry not to answer you when you were calling. I apologize for every stupid thing I’ve done.
I deserve nothing.